Sometimes you gotta rip out the old...

I have finally given up. The carpet in our weight room slash doggy sleep room has to go. I have cleaned it with everything: Doggy doo doo beGONE shampoo, baking soda, FeBreeze, Carpet Fresh, vinegar water (which only succeeded in making it smell like pickled dog turd), etc. The odor is trapped in the pad and sadly, the only cure is to pull it up and throw it out (which won't happen until our old dogs are gone...no use throwing good carpet before swine...er dogs).

Metaphorically speaking, sometimes life's crappy (excuse the pun) carpets need tossing as well. Smelly rugs comes in many forms: a friendship gone sour, a financially draining business, a job causing undue stress and unhappiness, or a relative in need of some tough love. Solomon wisely wrote that there is "a time to keep and a time to throw away." So how do we determine what sort of time we're facing?

I believe there are times when God sets us on a hard and lonely road. To be tested by fire (1 Pet. 1:7) and to "endure hardship as discipline(Hebrews 12:7)," but there are also times we need to get rid of harmful or even unnecessary chaff in our lives. Some chaff is obvious, but other can only be identified by the Holy Spirit; those times we need His help to identify the chaff vs. valuable grain. Most likely your marriage is grain, not chaff; just sayin'. Sometimes marriage seems like a trek up Everest (which no sane person should ever do); that is not the time to bail. Nor is it time when his chewing or her laugh drives you up a tree, or the seasons you just don't feel in love or attracted to him/her any longer. This is petty, self-centered stuff, and my gentle advice: "SUCK IT UP! Also, remember that "love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:7). BUT...we don't have to endure marital abuse and severe addictions. We don't have to tolerate friends who chronically cut us down, break promises, suck us dry emotionally, or compromise our values. We don't have to tolerate the irresponsible adult child parasitizing us. We don't have to live in squalor or work for an angry and belittling boss. We can fire a lazy and irresponsible employee. We can change where we shop, bank or go to church.

In my life, I have "had a boundary," as my mom would say, about the above things. I have broken an engagement with a faithless alcohol abuser (after suffering WAY too long). I have ended painful friendships. I have left churches that were morally or doctrinally compromised. I have refused to shop at certain stores that support causes I totally disagreed with. And I refuse to vote for those who promote or even tolerate child killing (abortion). On the other end, I have endured marital troubles that could easily have led to divorce, and have lived to tell about it (we will celebrate our silver anniversary this fall)! I have pursued and asked forgiveness of friends whom I've wounded and scared off. I have given lots of money to my children, simply because they were in need and were trying their absolute best. I have forgiven those I did not want to forgive and welcomed them back into my life. 1 Corinthians 4:8 sums it well, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair..." Life will be full of decisions to make; thankfully we have the All-Wise and Knowing One as our Counselor! We just have to learn to listen...