Over Commitment

Recently I found myself at a familiar place in my life again: the valley of over commitment. On the surface, my schedule didn't really appear packed, and it wasn't until I took time to write it down that I saw the main problem: the only evenings free at home were weekends, and for this homebody, that ain't enough! My mood suffered with increasing anger and resentment. I resorted to blaming other people for daring to ask me to do anything-for FORCING me to either accept another commitment, or the far scarier option. to utter the evil word, "NO."

After some practical advice from my hubby and a helpful friend, I whittled some otherwise beneficial activities out of my schedule, said "no" to a few people, and determined to refuse any new activities. Whew-I feel much better! I'm happier, less annoyed by interruptions, and much nicer at work...which I'm sure both my customers and co-workers appreciate.

The deeper question, however, remains: what is it about saying "no" that scares me? I think it started in childhood-saying "no" didn't fly with the parental units. Then as a teen, I stupidly acquired a controlling boyfriend who couldn't accept the N-word. And then, as a young married woman, I attended my first marital bible study, one which advocated the law of absolute wifely submission (read: obedience) to husbands. I have since determined that directive is a lie from the pit of Hell :) So my unused "no-muscle" atrophied over the years, and even though I've improved significantly in my middle-age, I still succumb to guilt-driven yeses. I generally feel like a bad Christian if I ignore or refuse a genuine need, though my mind screams out Jesus' truth: "the poor you always have with you," (Matthew 26:11a).

Demands for my time, money, compassion, etc will always exist, but I'm not always called to that particular need. Once again, I'm challenged to walk by the Spirit, not by the flesh, by faith, and not by sight. I err just as much when I serve out of guilt as when I avoid serving out of selfishness. Guilt and selfishness both stem from the sinful nature, which has been crucified with Christ. "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." Practice with me: "NNnnnnnOoooo!"